2/24/09 Jiu jitsu notes

Rolled with J and M yesterday. One of those days where I question why I do any of this shit. Just felt like I suck and will always suck and how could someone suck as bad as I do? How is it possible to put so much time and thought into something and just suck? Why do I bother?
I know these thoughts are temporary but consistent. I know the self-doubt will always be there. But I also know that somehow I’m just not quitting. I know that I’m getting better. But every once in a while I want my due.

Anyway main mistake yesterday was having the urge to drill the escapes from the seminar. Letting my guard get passed too easily as always. Was able to pass theirs fairly easily but need to work on side mount pressure and control next. J is very good at timing the pass to quickly reverse. I was letting him and M get up on my chest and it’s very hard to reverse from there keeping with the principals I learned last weekend. But still why do I always feel the need to abandon everything I've learned through the years at moments like that? Probably still need to work on some chokes and distractions from underneath to get some space.

Inverted guard has become a useless crutch at the moment. I ‘m simply going there and not making it an attack. I’m just sitting there waiting to get beat.

Things done well
1) Getting MBF posture from the bottom.
2) Getting to half guard
3) Passing half guard
4) Decent wind

Things to work on
1) Inverted needs to be an attack or get out of it. Hanging out there will just hurt your neck and do nothing. Sweep, triangle and kneebar.
2) Still getting passed too easily. Start from the knees and jump to closed guard.
3) Forced the triangle on J. Not getting real wrist control
4) Not attacking. Just waiting to get beat. I was just hoping at one point that M would crank what he had so it would be over. Some days I’m just a coward.